| | Things have been intense lately. It's all the more encouraging though. I know I'm taking new steps out, inviting my new friends to Bible studies, listening to people who need an ear, etc. Satan attacks me so much. The devil can have that credit, because he deserves to have the bad credit. I'm protected by my dear Rock, Jesus, the Christ of my life and the whole world.
This last week, I almost decided to go to a gay bar. But with it being a struggle of mine, my lesbian friend whom I consider my mentor and helper in this, advised me to not go. She paralleled it to the eating of the fruit in the Garden. Eve longed to know more, her eyes were definitely opened when she ate the fruit. Sometimes, ignorance is better. If I had gone to the gay bar, my eyes would have been opened, and a whole new level of the battle would have started. Thus God heard my prayer, "If I shouldn't go, don't let it happen." Well, it sure didn't anyway. My friend whom I was going with had some other issues going on, so it wouldn't have been worth it if we tried going anyway.
The thoughts have not left. They slowed down to almost "zero" a while ago. Then they popped up again, so visciously, i think the temptation/thoughts were so obviously a spiritual attack. Homosexual thoughts are still a struggle for me. Maybe it will get easier in the winter, when girls wear more clothing on their body... idk.
Anyways, the other night, when the thoughts kept coming to my mind like every minute (which is nowhere near normal), i started praying to God, because I didn't understand why they were coming at me so violently, and He answered the same answer that was from the beginning of this battle (earlier in the fall). He reminded me to "stand firm." God says that a lot in His word. But my original instruction is to stand firm as spoken in 2 Chronicles 20. It also says stand firm in several other places, especially in Eph 6, when it lists the armor of God that we should be wearing any day any time, to withstand the attacks. I was facing attacks Wed night very harshly. The Lord God has told me not to fight, but to stand firm, and I will see the deliverance that He would give me. Sure enough, I obeyed what I was instructed, and the thoughts became less. They still came, but less frequently.
Praise be to God, it is Jesus Christ who steps in and rescues me from the sinful nature of my mind. Romans 7:24ish
|
| | Posted 7/18/2009 7:12 PM - 13 Views - 0 eProps - 4 comments
- recommend
  - recs0
- share
- email
 - sent0
|
